If you’re not familiar with Chalica, here is a time warp to my post about it last year:

Picking up the plush and fuzzy figure of a rotund, bearded man wearing a red suit with white trim, my three year old broke into a smile.  “Buddha!” he declared proudly as he waved the jolly stuffed Santa in my direction.  As we string up lights, bring in holly boughs, burn sage, and stuff the advent calendar I can understand his confusion.  The winter holidays are a bit of a mish-mash in our home.

Both raised in the Christian tradition, and living in a society where Christmas is nearly unavoidable, my husband and I choose to join in the celebration of Jesus’ birth though to us it is more the birth of a wonderful man and peace worker than of a deity.  We will also recognize and celebrate the winter solstice as I feel most spiritually connected with rituals tied to the cycles of nature.  There is a secular elf of Indian descent who wreaks havoc around our house every night.  And though my husband’s Buddha figures don’t garner any special attention at this time of year, they remain present in their constant places of honor.

In the midst of all of that, there is one more very important holiday display to be laid out:  Chalica.

Chalica is a little known and comparatively new winter holiday that celebrates service, compassion, and respcect, but in the middle of a season already bursting at the seams with celebrations, why would anyone consider adding another holiday to the mix?

For our family, it’s because Chalica is a perfect complement to all the wonderful parts of the Yultide while also serving as an ideal counterpoint to the negative that so often accompanies this time of year (materialism, segregation of beliefs, etc.).   Chalica also offers a simplicity and flexibility enabling it to meld seamlessly into other festivities.  Seven days, seven candles, and seven principles, and from there it becomes whatever you need it to be.

Each day of Chalica calls us to light a candle and focus on a different concept, encouraging participants to think about and discuss that aspect of their lives while taking actions, small or large, to further the principle in question.

Drawn from the Seven Principles of Unitarian Universalism, Chalica is a celebration open to and appropriate for all faith paths.  The days and corresponding principles are as follows:

• Monday – The inherent worth and dignity of every person (or being).  Child version: Everyone is important.
• Tuesday – Justice, equality, and compassion in human relations. Child version: Be kind in all you do.
• Wednesday – Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual (or personal) growth.  Child version: Our freedom to learn together.
• Thursday – Free and responsible search for truth and meaning. Child version: We’re always searching for the truth.
• Friday – The right of conscience and use of the democratic process.  Child version:   All people need a need a voice.
• Saturday – The goal of a worldwide community of peace, liberty, and justice for all.  Child version:  Building a fair and peaceful world.
• Sunday – Respect for the interdependent web of existence of which we are all a part.  Child version:  All beings share the Earth.

A traditional Chalica candle display or alter features a central Chalice and seven additional candles arranged around it.  On each night of Chalica, one of the seven candles (each representing one of the seven principles) is lit from the center chalice so that on the seventh night all eight candles are lit.

There is no single mandated standard for how the chalice or Chalica display must look.  Last year, ours was made up entirely of used candles that no longer had places in our home.  The Chalice was a big globe shaped Yule candle and the rest of the candles were tea lights and stumps.  It wasn’t the prettiest display, but that didn’t matter.  Pretty isn’t the point of Chalica – and in using old candles that might otherwise get thrown away, we were honoring the seventh principle!

Common methods for creating chalices (a fun holiday craft and great way to introduce the holiday to your family!) include decorating a champagne coupe (a wide, shallow, stemware glass) or decorating a flower pot and saucer then turning the pot upside down and gluing the saucer on top to create a chalice.  A display can consist of one chalice and seven smaller chalices, eight chalices all the same size arranged so the central chalice is offset from the others, or one chalice and seven separate candles.  Or anything else you like!  You can also purchase chalices from several sites like Flaming Chalice and UniUniques.

A Chalica celebration starts with the lighting of the candle.  This can be at any time of day that works best for you.  We prefer either lighting the candle in the morning or the night before the assigned day.  This is because the candle lighting is the time to discuss the principle of the day, its meaning, and what we will do to honor that principle on the day in question.  It is also a time to discuss how the actions of the previous day went and how we honored that principle.

On Sunday night, the night before the first day of Chalica, we will light the chalice and the first candle and discuss the inherent worth and dignity of every being.  We will talk about what exactly that phrase means and brainstorm ways we might honor that principle.  We might come up with special ways to show our loved ones how much they mean to us or seek out the positive characteristics in people (or animals) who we don’t like very much.  This is a great day for writing holiday cards (but be sure they’re sustainably sourced)!

Traditionally, Chalica starts on the first Monday in December, but for the second year in a row, our family will be celebrating Chalica starting on the second Monday in December because Mommy (that would be me) tends to forget to write Chalica on the calendar – especially when it overlaps with Daddy’s birthday…

For seven days we will continue discussing the principles and finding ways to use those principles to make the world a better place.  We even try to find ways to fit dinner to the theme every night.  The seventh night is easy, a vegan meal from local sources and a discussion of Ethical Eating and food justice.  Other nights can be more challenging.  On Friday, we might vote on what the meal will be.  On Thursday maybe we’ll discuss the meaning of religious meals in various faiths.  The only limit on Chalica is your own creativity (or that of Google…).

Chalica is not about gifts or decorations and can be celebrated across religious lines.  It does not compete with or exclude other holidays taking place at this time, and only asks that we take time to focus on how we can make a difference.  We even put Chalica activities in our Advent Calendar.

We are a young UU family, and we are building our holiday traditions and finding our individual faith paths as we go.  For us, Chalica is a perfect way to live our beliefs.  It is anything but “just another winter holiday.”

If you’re interested in learning more about Chalica, or finding ideas for how to celebrate it in your home, check out these resources:

An excellent Chalica Activity booklet geared toward children was created by Meredith Plummer, Director of Religious Education at the First Unitarian Church of Cincinnati, OH.

Chalica Facebook Page

Chalica: Parenting Beyond Belief

Navigating the Winter Holidays

The Chalica Song!

Chalica on Pinterest

The post Happy Chalica! appeared first on Urban Earthworm.

      If there is one thing in abundance in Detroit, it’s saviors.  From financiers to philanthropists to entrepreneurs, we have as many saviors as we do vacant lots.  As a recovering participant in the “save Detroit” movement, let me tell you there is no one person, no one plan, no one answer for Detroit.  And, more importantly Detroit doesn’t need to be saved.

      Detroit needs work.  It needs improvement.  There are very real, very serious ongoing struggles.  But to say Detroit needs to be saved is to imply a need for rescue from without and to disregard the good within.  We don’t need one great act of salvation from a singular celebrity savior.  We need 700,000 small steps (and just a few big ones) to keep heading in the right direction – 700,000 small steps that have already begun, and we need most of those steps to come from those of us already here.

      Grand schemes are great, but what can those of us more interested in small steps and the long run do to improve our great big small town?  The list is long: Say hello to your neighbor, plant a tree, carpool, talk about the schools – a lot, talk about transit, talk about race, VOTE!, read the Detroit Future City plan (whether you choose to agree with it or not), take an interest, volunteer, and support local businesses.

This is a big small step.  The economic benefits of shopping locally cannot be over stated.  Supporting local businesses strengthens neighborhoods, supports innovation, creates jobs, and in most cases even helps heal the environment.  According to the research firm Civic Economics, On average, 48 percent of each purchase at local independent businesses was recirculated locally, compared to less than 14 percent of purchases at chain stores/franchises.  That is a lot more money staying in Detroit!  More information on these studies is available here.

The Balle Institute estimates that if 25% of Detroit’s food could be sourced locally, it would generate nearly 5,000 jobs, create $20 million in new local taxes, and $125 million in new household income.

If Detroit stands to reap such benefits from localizing just 25% of food production, imagine the impact if we could localize 25% of the entire economy!   Clothes, furniture, books, toys, art, sporting goods, bicycles – you can find nearly anything through local businesses if you just know where to look.

That can be one of the major hurdles to shopping locally.  Small businesses and entrepreneurs who are just starting out are rarely the first resources that show up in internet searches.  They often have limited money for advertising and may not even have a physical location from which they can operate.  Well, Eastern Market is working to change that.

Eastern Market has been a powerhouse in local food for decades, and last summer, they launched the Sunday Street Market, a local alternative to the shopping mall aimed at connecting local businesses and entrepreneurs with consumers looking for unique non-food products and a vibrant shopping experience.  By leveraging an already well-known shopping venue at an underutilized time, the Sunday Street Market is able to offer prime and reliable retail space to makers, entrepreneurs, and small businesses for a small fraction of what a storefront would cost – and to offer those of us looking to support the local economy a one-stop-shop, if you will.

This summer, the Sunday Street Market returns with even more vendors, products, and services.  There is also a children’s activity center every week, regular food truck rallies, and both new and returning entertainment and events.  Did you miss the Market Renaissance Festival (by the Michigan Renaissance Festival) last year?  They’ll be back this year (August 9^th)!  Feel like taking in a Detroit Derby Girls bout while noshing some amazing food truck faire?  You’ll have two chances this summer.

So pick up some litter, drink a bottle of Dirty Blonde, and swing hit up some local businesses next time you need a new T-shirt or kitchen table.  Then, in 20 years, you can tell people how you saved Detroit.

The Sunday Street Market runs every Sunday June through October.  The Market is currently accepting applications for vendors for all market days.  The application can be found at EasternMarket.com.  The application deadline is March 9^th, 2015.

Explore Eastern Market online at Facebook.com/EasternMarketDetroit and @EasternMarket on Twitter and Instagram.  Official hashtags: #SundayStMkt #EasternMkt.

The post Can Shopping Local Save Detroit? appeared first on Urban Earthworm.

The economic benefits of shopping locally cannot be over stated.  Supporting local businesses strengthens neighborhoods, supports innovation, creates jobs, and in most cases even helps heal the environment.  Focusing on local and small businesses also creates more equitable opportunities for women- and minority-owned businesses.  The benefits of localized food production are particularly well-recognized.  The Balle Institute estimates that if 25% of Detroit’s food could be sourced locally, it would generate nearly 5,000 jobs, create $20 million in new local taxes, and $125 million in new household income.

If Detroit stands to reap such benefits from localizing just 25% of food production, imagine the impact if we could localize 25% of the entire economy!  Well, Eastern Market is working to do just that.

The historic Eastern Market has a well-established and well-deserved reputation for economic development in the region.  In its capacity as a regional food hub, Eastern Market has worked to maximize the potential of local food systems and support local farmers and food-based entrepreneurs.  Read more about these amazing initiatives at Eastern Market here, here, and here.

The Market’s cumulative successes in building up the economy and supporting local food production have placed Eastern Market in the position to expand its economic impact beyond food.  In June of 2014, the Market launched the Sunday Street Market, a local alternative to the shopping mall aimed at connecting local businesses and entrepreneurs with consumers looking for unique products and a vibrant shopping experience.  By leveraging existing infrastructure, an already well-known shopping venue, at an underutilized time, the Sunday Street Market is able to offer prime and reliable retail space to makers, entrepreneurs, and small businesses for a small fraction of what a storefront would cost.

Eastern Market’s mission to support inclusive economic development allows the Sunday Street Market to embrace vendors who are just starting out and to support them in their development.

In its inaugural season, the Sunday Street Market was a resounding success, establishing itself as a go-to Sunday destination.  A boon to local businesses and makers from the very beginning, over 88% of vendors surveyed stated that participation in the Sunday Street Market allowed their businesses to grow and significantly increased their profits.  Several vendors were featured in local and national media, others were able to obtain capital investments, and still others were allowed to turn a hobby into a career.

Here are a few comments from Sunday Street Market vendors:

“I loved the atmosphere of creativity throughout the place.”

“I love meeting new people. I had the opportunity to meet people from around the world and from all the states in the US. I felt like an ambassador of Detroit.” (One of our vendors really got to feel like an ambassador to Detroit when they were invited to speak in Germany about their experiences in the Sunday Street Market).

“I have been in business for about 13 years and my customer base is all over metro Detroit area and the market is centrally located for all my customers. Plus meeting new people all the time, which makes for new customers!”

“The Sunday market was amazing for our business, really helped us brand our company big time. And all the people in the company enjoyed being there. It’s a great environment with lots of great people and products. LOVE IT”

And the vendors aren’t the only ones raving about Detroit’s new shopping destination.  Patrons of the Sunday Street Market represent a diverse cross-section of the region as well as Detroit’s growing tourist stream.  With a dedication to provide the widest possible variety of goods suitable for all price ranges, the Sunday Street Market has something for everyone.  Clothes in all styles and sizes, handmade furniture, art, food, jewelry, soaps and cosmetics, home décor, and all things Detroit only scratch the surface of products offered.

Things are stepping up for the 2015 season with a weekly children’s activity center, regular food truck rallies, and both new and returning entertainment and events.  Did you miss the Market Renaissance Festival (by the Michigan Renaissance Festival) last year?  They’ll be back this year!  Feel like taking in a Detroit Derby Girls bout while noshing some amazing food truck faire?  You’ll have two chances this summer.

So whether you want to boost your business with a stall at the Sunday Street Market or you just want to enjoy some great shopping, great food, and a great time, Eastern Market is your place to shop local, shop Detroit: every Sunday June through October (10am-4pm).

The Market is currently accepting applications for vendors.  The application can be found at EasternMarket.com.  The application deadline is March 9^th, 2015.

Explore Eastern Market online at Facebook.com/EasternMarketDetroit and @EasternMarket on Twitter and Instagram.  Official hashtags: #SundayStMkt #EasternMkt.

The post How Detroit Does Sundays appeared first on Urban Earthworm.

I just wanted to add a quick post to assure anyone out there awaiting my next post that this is a hiatus, not an end.  When peak farm season is over this year, many of my work obligations will lighten a bit, just in time for the next big distraction:

I actually have a few posts on pregnancy, birth, nutrition, and breastfeeding floating around waiting to make their appearances here, but it would be a stretch to promise them before the end of September.

For more updates like the image above, and small tidbits on vegan pregnancy and ethical eating/sustainable living in pregnancy, you can visit Urban Earthworm Breeds.

Come October, I’ll be back with a bang!

The post Hiatus appeared first on Urban Earthworm.

It is no surprise this book is a classic. It is thought provoking and continues to skewer our mindless mass media culture with pinpoint accuracy.

I’m often surprised when I read similar novels, written in the past imagining forward to one of the possible bleak futures of mankind, that the novels so often assumed that the countryside and agriculture would be or remain idyllic. It was amazing the powers so many authors had to foresee so much of our future and yet every dystopia I’ve read seems to assume that food would come from happy green family farms. I haven’t come across a single one that foresaw the atrocities of factory farm cruelty and the degradation of unethical industrial food production. There may be some out there, but I haven’t found them. Odd.

This is a good book, and I’m glad I finally got around to reading it. I’m surprised it never came up in high school – though I wouldn’t have fully appreciated it then anyway.

View all my reviews

The post Review: Fahrenheit 451 appeared first on Urban Earthworm.

This is Storytelling. Not just the weaving of a tale, but the construction of world, sweeping the reader/listener through lives and events and journeys. And going above and beyond the plot to fill the story to brimming with ideas, with thoughts.

I was initially hesitant to read this book. It has come up several times when I’ve been trying to decide which Terry Pratchett novel to read next, but I always shied away. The synopsis of the book warns that the main character is alone – everything and everyone he ever loved has been washed away by a storm. Still reeling from the loss of my brother, I could not fathom reading a book that must contain so much heartache and loss. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine any of Terry Pratchett’s books could be painful to read. I finally convinced myself to give it a shot, and am very grateful I did. There were moments that brought tears to my eyes, but never from a feeling of despair. And I am so glad “gave in” and read it.

Every moment of reading this book held the joint thrill of being completely engrossed in a tale and simultaneously buzzing with mental electricity.

I have rarely held a novel that so seamlessly, so invisibly layers such a simply and earnestly enjoyable story with such deep and thought provoking themes: Ideas of otherness and the construction thereof, of the liquid meanings of family and nation, of gender and etiquette, of perceptions of power and the meaning of magic, of age, gender, and belief.

[a:Karen Armstrong|2637|Karen Armstrong|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/authors/1234543612p2/2637.jpg] has written quite persuasively on the power of myth as a teaching tool that reaches us on a psychological and gut level. It is from this perspective that I see [a:Terry Pratchett|1654|Terry Pratchett|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/authors/1235562205p2/1654.jpg] as a myth-maker for this age.

I cannot exaggerate the skill with which moral truths and philosophical questions are integrated into [b:Nation|2855034|Nation|Terry Pratchett|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1388351360s/2855034.jpg|34491] in a way that makes them at once blatantly apparent and completely invisible. They are laid out with such eloquent simplicity that no literature major is required to parse them apart and ruminate on their impact, and yet they are so much a part of the plot itself that one never has the feeling of switching from story to expostulation.

Along with so many of his works, ([b:The Wee Free Men|21330519|The Wee Free Men|Terry Pratchett|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1394308789s/21330519.jpg|40639931] springs immediately to mind), I cannot wait to share this book with my children. And I think I will share it with each of them separately, if I have the chance, because I believe I could absorb this tale a dozen times and still find more to ponder and enjoy.

View all my reviews

The post Review: Nation appeared first on Urban Earthworm.

This Isn’t About Babies
       If you want women to breastfeed because that is what is best for babies, you offer education, you offer support, and you offer positive examples.  You don’t criminalize the inability or failure to do so.  If you want people to eat healthier, you teach them about nutrition, you provide them access to fresh vegetables and fruits, you put images in the media of people eating kale.  You don’t outlaw cheeseburgers (though I would actually probably be in support of that for other reasons, ha).

If this were about nutrition for babies, there would be some discussion of milk banks, regulation of formula companies, and the health and nutrition of nursing mothers (though I see another dangerous rabbit hole there).  But it isn’t about babies, it is about the women.  It is about control.  This law looks women right in the eye and says, “We don’t trust you to make the right decision for your families and yourselves, so we’re taking that choice away.”

Decisions about whether to breastfeed, how long to breastfeed, and even where to breastfeed are complex and difficult choices that plague women here in the US.  I don’t really know about the situation in the UAE, but based on this law I might hazard a guess that there are some similarities.  People are so freaking obsessed with women’s breasts and what we choose to do with them that something that wasn’t even a question 100 years ago (and for thousands of years before that), is now a gut-wrenching choice that affects the way women feel about themselves as human beings.

I have known women wracked with guilt over the inability to breastfeed and women who were disparaged and even verbally attacked by their own family members for breastfeeding for “too long,” or in public.  I personally suffered the indignity of being asked to conceal my breastmilk at the U.S. Army’s Judge Advocate General’s Legal Center and School because, “no one wants to see that.”  The speaker was a woman, the milk was in a sealed cup, and she and I were both there in a professional capacity (not that it would matter if we weren’t).

When it comes to breastfeeding, there’s no right answer.  No matter what choice women make, someone will judge them as wrong.  And that is the true wrong.

If You Really Want to Increase Breastfeeding
      One hundred years ago, a law requiring breastfeeding would be seen as essentially the same as a law requiring that you feed your baby – a bit obvious and silly.  So what has changed?  Babies haven’t changed.  Breasts haven’t changed.  Society has changed.  Between the obsessive sexualization of breasts and the aggressive and intentional attacks on breastfeeding by formula companies, we as a society have been reprogrammed.  Breasts are for sex and bottles are for babies.

Except now we know (or re-know?) that “breast is best.”  So every mother should breastfeed.  Except not in public, because that would interfere with our sexual notions about breasts.  And not for “too long” because that’s just “weird,” even if it’s anthropologically correct.  But not for “too short,” either, because that’s just selfish.  And not if it hurts, or you don’t like it, or it’s inconvenient.  But that’s not right, because it’s best for your baby.  And what about if you eat too much fast food or your breasts are too big or too small or your aunt’s sister had mastitis?

If you really want to increase breastfeeding:

• Normalize
• Inform
• Trust
• Support

Normalize
      Stop obsessing.  Stop staring.  Stop making such a big deal about it (educating people is not ‘making a big deal’).  Show women nursing in the media – without making it a focal point.  Show it as casually as you would show someone eating lunch (indeed, nursing IS someone eating lunch).  Show people in the media accepting and not making a fuss about it.  People are walking through the park.  They walk past a woman who is nursing.  She nurses, they walk, it’s normal.  Just like if they walked past someone eating a sandwich.  Normal.

Accept it in public.  Everywhere.  A woman should never feel nervous or ashamed to nurse in public.  There should be no “should I or shouldn’t I” (and REALLY no “should she or shouldn’t she”) about nursing in public any more than there should be a question of whether or not I can eat an apple in public.  If you see a woman nursing in public, don’t gawk, don’t point, and don’t comment – even positive comments.

“Good job eating that carrot.  It warms my heart to see young people eating vegetables in public.”  Eating vegetables in public is only weird if you comment on it (I know there are a few people out there who love creating awkwardness and now have a new idea – consider it a gift from me).  Don’t comment on nursing in public.  I have received positive comments while nursing in public which made me happy and started lovely conversations, but not everyone likes being approached in public, and really, if breastfeeding is normal there’s no need to comment.

If you’re a nursing mom, keep normal and natural as your mantra.  I openly nursed in public and there were times when I was torn up with stress about it.  I nursed in public with dozens of my colleagues – U.S. Marines, mostly male – around and I was incredibly uncomfortable.  But to leave would be tantamount to saying I didn’t think it was normal or appropriate to nurse around my colleagues.  To go to a restroom would be like saying nursing is dirty or secret (and I don’t like the idea of feeding my child in a bathroom).  To refuse to feed my hungry child because I was uncomfortable would be selfish.  I am not saying every woman should do exactly what I did or nurse in places that make her uncomfortable.  I’m saying that the discomfort shouldn’t exist.  And, indeed, everyone who knew me (macho male Marines included) got used to seeing me nursing pretty fast.  If I didn’t act uncomfortable, they didn’t feel uncomfortable, and soon what should have been normal (nursing), was normal.

Inform
      If you really want to increase breastfeeding, then start teaching people about it (not just mothers – everyone: men, women, children, grandparents, everyone).  Part of this fits with normalizing.  There wasn’t a lot of formalized education about breastfeeding 100 years ago because it was so normal, such an ingrained part of being human, that there didn’t really need to be other that tips and tricks from midwives and other mothers.  Given the decimation of this cultural knowledge, though, a little mass education – and specialized education for mothers – is probably in order.

It isn’t enough to just plaster the words “breast is best” all over pregnancy magazines and maternity wards.  It isn’t enough for OB/GYN’s and Pediatricians to give 60 seconds of lip-service to the fact that breastmilk is the most nutritionally complete food a baby can have.

In the moments when judgy people made me question my decision to breastfeed past one year, it was always the data that kept me going.  For me, the data was my support.  It wasn’t just knowing that “breast is best,” but knowing what that meant.  It was knowing that breastmilk is not only perfectly nutritionally formulated for human babies, but that as a child grows, the composition of the breastmilk changes to meet the child’s needs.  It was knowing about all the added illness fighting qualities that breastmilk provides that nothing else can.  It was knowing that breastmilk is incredibly beneficial for brain development.

And in the moments when I was worried about the amount of milk I was producing, or the amount my son was consuming, or about the possibility of pain, or about my son sprouting teeth, or a million other things that I hear nursing or pregnant mothers worry and ask about all the time, it was finding the answers that kept me going.  But wouldn’t it be amazing if I didn’t have to search out these answers?  Wouldn’t it be amazing if women didn’t quit breastfeeding for fear that their child wasn’t getting enough milk because they knew that, except in very rare cases, their bodies would increase and decrease the amount of milk being produced in order according to their babies’ needs?

If you want more women to breastfeed, teach them from childhood that it is a normal, natural part of growing up and of giving birth.  Then teach them extensively when they are pregnant and nursing about how breastfeeding works, how to troubleshoot issues, how to trust their bodies, and about the extensive list of benefits for both them and their babies.

Trust
      If you want more women to breastfeed, stop telling them they can’t be trusted to figure it out on their own.  If you want someone to ride a bike, you don’t threaten them; you help them a little, teach them how to do it and maybe support them until they get their balance, then you just let them do it.  Ok, maybe not my best metaphor, but seriously, thousands of years of evolution have been programming mothers to want what’s best for their children, so let’s stop acting like women are incompetent fiends.

I can probably be called a lactivist.  I believe that breastfeeding is incredibly important, and I believe concrete steps should be taken to increase it’s prevalence (like, you know, the steps I’m writing about here…).  I also disapprove, somewhat controversially, when women don’t try, or put only a nominal effort behind their attempts to, breastfeed.  I believe there are a lot of women out there who have been taught by society that breastfeeding is undesirable for any number of reasons and so they just don’t want to.  I believe there are women out there who “give it a try,” just so they can say they tried.  But, I also believe that on an individual basis, THAT IS NONE OF MY D*MN BUSINESS.

I can never know the factors that went into anyone’s decisions but my own.  I may think some women don’t try hard enough, but maybe that’s because they weren’t informed or supported.  And I have no way of telling apart women who didn’t want to breastfeed from women who desperately wanted to but couldn’t.  Ultimately, it doesn’t matter.  What matter is that I know that the vast majority of women would bend over backward to do what’s best for their children.  That may sound like it contradicts women choosing not to, but if a woman doesn’t have enough information or support, her choice is not fully informed or may be so difficult to implement that it would negatively affect her health or that of her child(ren).

I know how much I struggled with not only breastfeeding decisions, but just about every mothering decision I’ve made.  I know that pretty much all of my friends went through the same thing.  I know that, across cultures, women willingly sacrifice and suffer to improve their children’s lives.

Maybe, instead of focusing on punishing women for making the “wrong” decisions, we should trust women to make their own decisions, in light of their own complex and unique situations, and offer them information and support in doing the best that they can for their children.  And maybe that knowledge and support will be spread and carried on in a way that is not possible with simple thoughtless force.

Support
      If you really want to increase breastfeeding, you need to support women.  “If you’re medically incapable of breastfeeding, we’ll give you a wetnurse” is not support.  (And is also not something I would personally want since there is so much bonding tied in with feeding a child – maybe milk donations?).

Normalizing, Informing, and Trusting are all parts of support, but it goes beyond that.  Support is giving women access to lactation consultants, especially in the weeks after birth – but also for the next few year.  Support is giving working mothers breast pumps and passing regulations to protect them.  Support is passing laws making it a crime to discriminate against a nursing mother instead of passing laws that punish women who can’t nurse.

Supporting is helping women eat well so they can be confident in their nursing.  Support is about making sure that women know that if they are struggling with breastfeeding for any reason there will be someone there that wants to help them, not someone who wants to punish them.  Support is about silencing the judges and emphasizing a caring community – and not just one for nursing mothers, but for all mothers.

Support is the most ambiguous of these concepts, but possibly also the most important one because without support, none of the other ideas work.  Unsupported, women will never be confident enough to normalize breastfeeding again.  Information without support and reassurance is a crutch at best.  And support is the best way to demonstrate trust.

I nursed my son for nearly three years.  I am glad I did, but I am no more proud than I am of making his lunch today.

This Law is Not About Breastfeeding
      Of course, none of these suggestions mean a thing in the world of a law like this.  Because this law has nothing to do with breastfeeding and everything to do with reminding society that women are dangerous and need to be controlled.

Two excellent resources, which include online support, for nursing mothers or anyone who wants to know more are:

La Leche League International
Kellymom

The post Breastfeeding Law is Not Really About Babies appeared first on Urban Earthworm.

Please let me know if you enjoy these book reviews, or if you feel the detract from the overall purpose of this site.  Thank you!

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Wuthering Heights Feminist Review:  I first read Wuthering Heights when I was about 15, and I loved it. It was the first book to open my eyes to the fact that not all “classics” were the same. This one was dark, creepy, and the “love story” aspect of it was twisted. Great fodder for a teen with a “jaded” persona. Perhaps my young mind was subconsciously resonating with the Emily Brontë‘s veiled straining against cultural norms of the submissive and dull female. Or perhaps I just liked the shock value. Probably the latter.

After reading The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde, I was inspired to give both Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights a second look as an adult.

My second reading of Wuthering Heights was certainly a different experience from the first. I was drawn much more into the characters and causal relationships in this reading than in my first. Both times I read it, I found the story completely engrossing and thought provoking. It was not so much suspenseful as intriguing.

Reading it now as a married adult and a mother, I was struck by the amount of child abuse in the book that hadn’t even registered with me when I was a teenager. It is a truly sad tale of the lifelong emotional destruction that can be wrought by a lack of nurturance in child-rearing. To me, the rippling effects of childhood situations, even through generations, was the most pervasive theme in the book, though I would be the first to admit that this is far from the only theme. If I had time, I would love to explore the themes of death/transcendence (for positive and negative), symbolism in nature (heath in particular), and love in all its unusual variations here – for starters! (On that note, I will say that while I have heard this called a kind of love story, that is about the last label I would apply – the other aspects of the story were much more powerful to me, and while broken, corrupted, or weak love weaves through many of the other themes, I nevertheless found it secondary at best).

I was consistently caught by the fact that the female characters, with the possible exception of Nelly Dean, seemed to remain locked in a childlike state while the males matured. A good friend recommended I consider this novel (and others like it) as being written out of protest. I suggest that it is the trapped and stunted natures of the women best captures that protest.

I’m glad I read it, both times. Now on to Jane Eyre (with a short break for some Terry Pratchett).

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Both raised in the Christian tradition, and living in a society where Christmas is nearly unavoidable, my husband and I choose to join in the celebration of Jesus’ birth though to us it is more the birth of a wonderful man and peace worker than of a deity.  We will also recognize and celebrate the winter solstice as I feel most spiritually connected with rituals tied to the cycles of nature.  There is a secular elf of Indian descent who wreaks havoc around our house every night.  And though my husband’s Buddha figures don’t garner any special attention at this time of year, they remain present in their constant places of honor.

In the midst of all of that, there is one more very important holiday display to be laid out:  Chalica.

Chalica is a little known and comparatively new winter holiday that celebrates service, compassion, and respcect, but in the middle of a season already bursting at the seams with celebrations, why would anyone consider adding another holiday to the mix?

For our family, it’s because Chalica is a perfect complement to all the wonderful parts of the Yultide while also serving as an ideal counterpoint to the negative that so often accompanies this time of year (materialism, segregation of beliefs, etc.).   Chalica also offers a simplicity and flexibility enabling it to meld seamlessly into other festivities.  Seven days, seven candles, and seven principles, and from there it becomes whatever you need it to be.

Each day of Chalica calls us to light a candle and focus on a different concept, encouraging participants to think about and discuss that aspect of their lives while taking actions, small or large, to further the principle in question.

Drawn from the Seven Principles of Unitarian Universalism, Chalica is a celebration open to and appropriate for all faith paths.  The days and corresponding principles are as follows:

• Monday – The inherent worth and dignity of every person (or being).  Child version: Everyone is important.
• Tuesday – Justice, equality, and compassion in human relations. Child version: Be kind in all you do.
• Wednesday – Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual (or personal) growth.  Child version: Our freedom to learn together.
• Thursday – Free and responsible search for truth and meaning. Child version: We’re always searching for the truth.
• Friday – The right of conscience and use of the democratic process.  Child version:   All people need a need a voice.
• Saturday – The goal of a worldwide community of peace, liberty, and justice for all.  Child version:  Building a fair and peaceful world.
• Sunday – Respect for the interdependent web of existence of which we are all a part.  Child version:  All beings share the Earth.

A traditional Chalica candle display or alter features a central Chalice and seven additional candles arranged around it.  On each night of Chalica, one of the seven candles (each representing one of the seven principles) is lit from the center chalice so that on the seventh night all eight candles are lit.

There is no single mandated standard for how the chalice or Chalica display must look.  Last year, ours was made up entirely of used candles that no longer had places in our home.  The Chalice was a big globe shaped Yule candle and the rest of the candles were tea lights and stumps.  It wasn’t the prettiest display, but that didn’t matter.  Pretty isn’t the point of Chalica – and in using old candles that might otherwise get thrown away, we were honoring the seventh principle!

Common methods for creating chalices (a fun holiday craft and great way to introduce the holiday to your family!) include decorating a champagne coupe (a wide, shallow, stemware glass) or decorating a flower pot and saucer then turning the pot upside down and gluing the saucer on top to create a chalice.  A display can consist of one chalice and seven smaller chalices, eight chalices all the same size arranged so the central chalice is offset from the others, or one chalice and seven separate candles.  Or anything else you like!  You can also purchase chalices from several sites like Flaming Chalice and UniUniques.

A Chalica celebration starts with the lighting of the candle.  This can be at any time of day that works best for you.  We prefer either lighting the candle in the morning or the night before the assigned day.  This is because the candle lighting is the time to discuss the principle of the day, its meaning, and what we will do to honor that principle on the day in question.  It is also a time to discuss how the actions of the previous day went and how we honored that principle.

On Sunday night, the night before the first day of Chalica, we will light the chalice and the first candle and discuss the inherent worth and dignity of every being.  We will talk about what exactly that phrase means and brainstorm ways we might honor that principle.  We might come up with special ways to show our loved ones how much they mean to us or seek out the positive characteristics in people (or animals) who we don’t like very much.  This is a great day for writing holiday cards (but be sure they’re sustainably sourced)!

Traditionally, Chalica starts on the first Monday in December, but for the second year in a row, our family will be celebrating Chalica starting on the second Monday in December because Mommy (that would be me) tends to forget to write Chalica on the calendar – especially when it overlaps with Daddy’s birthday…

For seven days we will continue discussing the principles and finding ways to use those principles to make the world a better place.  We even try to find ways to fit dinner to the theme every night.  The seventh night is easy, a vegan meal from local sources and a discussion of Ethical Eating and food justice.  Other nights can be more challenging.  On Friday, we might vote on what the meal will be.  On Thursday maybe we’ll discuss the meaning of religious meals in various faiths.  The only limit on Chalica is your own creativity (or that of Google…).

Chalica is not about gifts or decorations and can be celebrated across religious lines.  It does not compete with or exclude other holidays taking place at this time, and only asks that we take time to focus on how we can make a difference.  We even put Chalica activities in our Advent Calendar.

We are a young UU family, and we are building our holiday traditions and finding our individual faith paths as we go.  For us, Chalica is a perfect way to live our beliefs.  It is anything but “just another winter holiday.”

If you’re interested in learning more about Chalica, or finding ideas for how to celebrate it in your home, check out these resources:

An excellent Chalica Activity booklet geared toward children was created by Meredith Plummer, Director of Religious Education at the First Unitarian Church of Cincinnati, OH.

Chalica Facebook Page

Chalica: Parenting Beyond Belief

Navigating the Winter Holidays

The Chalica Song!

Chalica on Pinterest

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For months – probably over a year – my Pinterest feed has been flooded with upcycled pallet and window projects.  People are making everything out of these industrial cast-offs, from rugged compost bins to super modern pallet furniture.  I didn’t pay too much attention to this trend given that we have more furniture than we need at this point, but I did find myself wondering who the heck has that many pallets lying around?  (or old but undamaged windows, for that matter?)

I envisioned people sneaking into construction sites and abandoned warehouses in the dark of the night and heaving dirty pallets into pick-up trucks.  For some people, I was probably correct.  Others, I’ve found actually go out and purchase pallets – which isn’t necessarily upcycling, and IS, in many cases just greenwashing.  Sustainability posers.  Go figure.

And the source of the pallets matters.  Aside from how moronic it is to fake sustainability, there are real dangers to be considered.

Pallets used for shipping are routinely treated with extremely toxic chemicals which can linger in the wood and take EXTENSIVE remediation to eliminate. The USDA requires pest treatments on pallets, which often includes the use of Methyl Bromide – an incredibly toxic pesticide that my fellow Tomatoland readers will be familiar with.  Methyl Bromide is illegal in much of Europe and banned or very seriously restricted in several US states.  It can be lethal to humans and is known to cause severe birth defects.  (Seriously, read Tomatoland).

Further, pallets that have been sitting – in warehouses, ditches, and abandoned buildings are likely to harbor mold, rodent-born diseases, fungi, and other such unpleasantness.  The National Consumers League, after discovering E. coli and Listeria on shipping pallets has called on the FDA to begin paying attention to the spread of pathogens by pallets.  There was even a Tylenol recall related to fumes on the bottles causing headaches, nausea, and vomiting believed to stem from a chemical fungicide present on the shipping pallets.

And I may as well add that if you happen to hunt down some authentic old windows that are in good condition, you’re probably dealing with lead paint.

Safe Pallet Projects

       Organic Authority recommends limiting your pallet crafts to the outdoor arena (vertical garden, anyone?) and Apartment Therapy suggests seeking out refurbished (*cough* cheating *cough*) or heat-treated pallets (stamped with HT) for your crafts.

For now, though, I don’t think I’m going to risk it.  MacGyver has enough scrap wood to reconstruct the Titanic, anyway.

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